i was..

 ..mad,
       annoyed,
           stressed out—
                altogether
                     that 22nd night of february.

palpitate.

 my heart ached;               

i slept.   

it means so much more now~

funny how something meant no more than being open to new friendships.

it was for a wall flower, waiting for the right time to bloom.

and now,

it does seem like it means so much more.

how it somewhat says what our story is for now;

 as we wait for the future to unfold.

untimely

can't i stay here for a little while longer?

i don't want to turn left.

 nor right.

it's not yet time.

apology accepted?

and since m'not sure whether m'bored, or just tired of writing, or feeling gay,

i grabbed the iron and curled my hair.

i apologize.

apology accepted?

BLOG #5: Of Spoken Ideas without Speaking

“Mother’s Revenge”

by Jose Rizal

Rizal’s terra cotta sculpture of a mother dog on top of a crocodile, biting its stone-hard scaly back, to revenge her puppy is one of the pieces that screams Feminism to me. But at the same time, it shows Marxism. Well, as for me.

Finally, the oppressed has been able to fight back to its oppressor. Her uttermost power—her strength and courage, dominates in this sculpture. Although the oppressor, the crocodile, still had the puppy in its mouth, I view it as a weakling as suggested by its position.

As a mother, one would do anything, everything for her children. Not fearing for her own life, she risks it to revenge her puppy, her poor, bitten and probably dead puppy.

“Parisian Life”

by Juan Luna

When I saw this painting of Juan Luna, I feel like it communicated to me as a take on Feminism. Not only because its subject is of a French woman, but also because of how it is composed.

The woman sits carelessly on the couch with her arms positioned away from her, something that could be perceived as unladylike of her. And this fact may have not mattered, because by looking at her face, it is still all calm. In front of her, a half-empty (or half-full, if you are to see it that way) glass sits on the table, suggesting that she may have already been drinking. Inches from her, (maybe even a foot or two), a gentleman’s hat rests on a cloth or maybe an inside-out coat (I can’t tell). From afar, three gentlemen sit, probably having a conversation about her, admiring her beauty or insecure of her dominating presence.

With today’s society, I’m not sure how people view women of today. Are we still that conservative? Or are we now more carefree? But I do know that women nowadays strive to be more independent, to have their own identity and to prove to the world that we are equally as strong, determined and dexterous, as men are.

“The Basi Revolt Series XIII” (The four insurgent leaders are hanged.)

by: Esteban Villanueva

E. Villanueva’s series of oil paintings depicting the Basi Revolt during 1807 takes its audience to a different period of time. I have come to consider that this series says of Post-Colonialism as well as Marxism.

From what I’ve learned about these paintings (well, I only posted one for this entry), the artist painted this 14 years after the said revolt.  The rebellion started in Ilocos because the Spanish colonizers started to ban their traditional wine which is the Basi. However, the colonial forces won and this is one of the many brutal ways they punished their Filipino captives. The leaders were hanged, some scourged to death, some decapitated.

With all honesty, the artist naif style in painting doesn’t really impress me. His rendering of colors, well, it’s okay. But what’s really astonishing is how he was able to capture and express the historical event with so much attention to details and elements on each scene taking into consideration that he was only 10 years old when the revolt happened.

After being colonized, Filipinos have really developed and strengthen their nationalism. However, it is undeniable that we have been influenced by our colonizers in some ways. Even on the artist’s portrayal of the cloudy sky in some of the paintings, it shows the influence from Chinese Art.

As per Marxism, this painting shows the defeat of the “insurgents” or the rebels and once again, the oppressor had taken control of the land. What’s new society? Tell me. Today, we are shushed by so many governing bodies. Take RA 10175—when do we get to talk again? And if we fight for our rights, what will we get in return? 5 to 10 years of imprisonment; in line with murderers and rapists? Should I have done the same thing then?

PS: must I apologize for the delay of my entry.

BLOG #4: Of Women Subject to Judgments

It is almost always that the subject is a woman (or women)—even before.

And the activity would have been successful if we didn’t have to model as biological men.

Let’s see. I believe I am a guy—in the wrong body.

So yes, technically, well, biologically, I am a lady. *shivers*

And since the activity required the guys to be the “object of the gaze”,

I was off by the idea that it was me and another girl-friend with a guy

who had to model for our feminist postcard.

The two of us ladies *shivers at the word* had to disguise as GUYS

and stand in the middle of the atrium of a mall.

We had to stay there and pose until are other groupmates took our photos from upstairs.

To be watched with speculation, their wary eyes looking at us;

curious of our purpose. I wanted to melt away. I wanted to disappear.

I wanted to be  i n v i s i b l e.

I hate being looked at—especially with judgmental eyes.