LEGIT.

after 4 years (and more)
i have finally gone to a salon for a legitimate haircut.

YES.
after i had my blonde dyed brown last 23, 
i trimmed my dead ends come 24th.
and it was okaaaay~

but since i am graduating, i decided to get professional help,
and fix the ends and layers.

and m'so relieved it was totally worth it.

i mean, i grew up hating salon people.
i have trauma from childhood memories of going to salon.
that's why i've been cutting my own hair since 2009.
HAHA.

SHEESH..
what graduation does to me.
PRESSURE not only in my studies but in appearance too.
i don't want anyone kicking me

for looking like the psycho i usually am on such occasion.

definitely not a blondie.

all efforts in, for the past 2 days.

YAY for no more namecalling me blondie!

graduation preparation?
hah

nodes, lymphnodes.

DAY 1:
18 decemeber 2o13, wednesday.

around 12 midnight or so~
(first) i found one; behind my left ear 

by morning.
around 9 or 10 am.
(second) i found another one next to the 1st; again, behind my left ear

DAY 2:
19 december 2o13, thursday.

around 11pm or almost 12mn of 20th
(third) a big circular node, an inch in diameter, under my chin.

DAY 3:
20 december 2o13, friday.

the two behind my ear were subsiding,
but the one in my chin still ever.so.present

DAY 4:
21 december 2o13, saturday.

around 8 or 9 am in the morning~
(fourth and fifth) two are growing behind my right ear.

by and 11am
(sixth) i detetcted a small one on the left part of my neck.

headache on and off. must be just the weather.
or the huge number of people surrounding me these past few days.
i don't know.
why my lymphnodes are swelling, i don't know either.
everything is UNKNOWN.

i have to get well, SOON.
i need a check up soon.
everyone is worried..or is it just me?

WARMER. blood rushing to my..

CHEEKS.

no, wait, ears.

UGH~ it doesn't matter!

i am happy ♥

very.

i am noticing things.
CHANGES
in both of us, but more on him.
and i am liking it.

and i am happy.

very.

he is warmer than he was almost a year ago.
this makes me happy.

very happy.

i say "whatever"

it's been a while since i last wrote here.
i have experienced several urges to write the past days,
but m'too busy.

 but today is just..UGH.
so here it goes~

m'on my last semester. 3-4 months and i am graduating.
OYES. finally.

and there are these hassles:
 requirements, graduation application, payments to be made.
 and there's that GRADUATION PICTURE weighing heavy on my shoulder.

you should know how i've always hated having my photo taken.
it never comes out okay. (that's why i opt to make face in my photos)
so anyway, i really hate them. ever since.

i have thrown several loads of tantrums to my parents, my relatives and siblings
 whenever they ask me to smile for a photo. UGH~ and my tantrums, are really bad.


and so, today..is our scheduled graduation picture taking.
and i am in no mood to have it taken.
not when m'stressed out, busy, frantic even~
not when m'bound by grave requirements.


why does people care so much about it?
it's not like you cannot finish college without yer graduation picture.

let me just put it this way,

PLATES before PICTURE.

see, i can graduate without that photo.
what i cannot graduate from is lacking plates, my requirements.
especially when m'aiming for an award.

so there goes my priority.
so m'sorry if i don't give a *insert bad word here* for that graduation picture.

if only i would go up the stage without an unwanted photo of a forced smile,
i would really be having the time of my life.

so spare me all those rants you guys all have.
call it my pride, my ego, whatever~
but i say,

"WHATEVER."

UPDATES on me

well, missed jogging for the past 2 weeks and m'back at 55~
*sigh*
i should really get serious on it. it's just..requirements piling up.
video art, thesis left and right. plates. quizzes.

but i can't give up.
NOT NOW.

not when i know i am in the running.
and i have a big chance of getting magna cumlaude,
i have to make it work!

FIGHTING.