paranoid, eh?

okay. haircut~
will be moved to idk.when
because something came up.

my tita, just told me we were going
to tagaytay highlands tomorrow.
we set off morning and e don't know what time will be back.

so, the haircut, sacrifice, crying over hair thing,
won't happen tomorrow.

now i'm starting to get paranoid.
maybe. i'm not supposd to have it.
maybe, i'm not really prepared for changes.
for let go-move on due process..

or maybe, it's just plain coincidence.
but. what if i wasn't supposed to have it?
what if, this is a sign?
damn*it.
paranoia srtikes again..

changes??

"everybody's changing while i don't feel the same."

fine. it's not like i'm not changing,
i admit it.
i just don't want to change..
so what?

anyhow, maybe i'll have a few changes.
*gosh* it hurts me to just to think
but i am going to have my hair cut short.

well, i love my hair.
so i'm just gotta weird it out more..
*ugh~

still, i so love my hair.
i don't want to cut it.
you know me.. you know my rules.
heartache=sacrifice.
and that is equivalent to a haircut.

if i get my hair cut,
that means i'm in pain.
and, i'm letting go.
ugh~ i don't want to say why.
or who, or what..
but, i'm letting go of little things.

*sigh*

a personal letter addressed to nobody

"dearest blog,

i just wrote to you.

'cause i'm currently mentally and emotionally unstable.

this past few nights,

i've been feeling bad.

about myself. about my life.

well, it's not like it's a new feeling.

i've always looked down on myself.

and feeling sad is just a daily routine.

but tonight, i don't know.

just before the movie i was watching ended,

i just cried. it's not like its a sad story..

i don't really know why i'm crying.

i know there's a reason.

i just can't figure what its specifically is.

it may have been triggered by one scene.

one subtle, sad scene.

and then, i just broke down.

you may think i'm stupid.

i know. i think so too~

sorry for writing nonsense tonight.

but this crapload, i just can't bear alone.

i wish to feel better.

if not, at least a bit lighter than this deep depression

that is drowning me in.."

*sigh*

raise your banners

hey guys.
i just thoguht maybe you'd like to see
something that i made.

well, it's not something cool.
i just really like these girls so i made a banner
of their group ^^♥

an honest question,,

right now,
i have this question in my mind.
it has kept me awake for a couple of nights.
it isn't some kind of mind-boggling thing.
but it has gotten my curiousity at its height.

you may think it's stupid.
some may think it's easy~
but to me,
i just can't give the exact answer.

maybe it doesn't have any.
maybe the answer has a lot to it.
maybe no one can answer.
maybe everyone will give an anonymous one.

either way.
i just want to put it into words.
but really people...

" how does it feel to be beautiful? "

ADOBE drawings

well. i just wanna share my artworks.
they aren't that good though.
just fine. hahaha xD

actually,

they're kinda LAME.

*laughs*

new face

yes. i just changed my blog's facade.

well, not everything.

just the banner at the top and some colors..

it's no big deal.

i mean, i just thought i wanted to change it..

i mean, update stuff..

*sigh*

well, that's about it.

good mornight people~!!

*yawns*

for you

i wish to bring back the old times.

when we could spend hours together

doing nothing in particular.

just share and waste time together..

how i wish.

but since you already have that special someone.

i guess we can't be that close again.

i guess i'll have to give you more space.

*sigh*

like when you would always talk to me.

PM me in the middle of the night

just so you won't be bored.

we would talk about nonsense til the sun rises again..

and then we'll say our goodnights & prayers.

i could order you to do things for me.

you would always disagree.

but at the end of the day,

you would still do it for me.

but now,

that you have your special someone.

i hold no grudge.

even though you won't be spending time with me anymore.

you won't be as caring as you used to be.

i wish you all the happiness.

i wish you all the love.

i wish you'll never be lonely again.

because i know,

there's nothing more that i can do for you back then

and now, she found you.

she made you whole.

i'm happy ^^-

when are you coming back?

to whom this may concern,

(i know you know who you are)

how i wish you're still here..

please don't be mad.

if you need time to cool down, just tell me.

i'll give you time.

i'll give you space.

i can wait.

but not like this.

you're not even talking to me.

you've been avoiding me for almost a week.

and it sucks.

'cause i don't even know if you're planning to come back

or what..[~~]

how i wish you would.. sooner. or later..

i'm sorry.

you know you're my bestfriend.

and you said i am your bestfriend too.

please, don't leave...