STRIPED!

i didn't have much time to work on some fancy nail art.

so, i ended up getting STRIPED!
 *still cute, right? ^^♥

who are you?

that night, when you first stole him from me,
was the first time you superbly hurt me.
& then, it never came to an end.

but i had to endure.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

little did i know, that things would go from bad to HELL.

but i had to accept it.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

& then, more shit came.
& i couldn't stop myself from going berserk*
i said words. i did things.
PAIN was excruciating.

but it only lasted for 2 hours.
i had to overcome it.
& decided to be okay with everything else..

 then, i was okay.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

but it pains me..

that you always had time for him than for me.
that you could always text him to meet him up,
but never had to ask me "what's up?"
that you'd reply to his invites but never to my texts of desperation..

it was painful because of that.
not because he likes you.


AND NOW.
who are you? where'd you take my bestfriend?
where did she go? what did you do to her?
i don't know you anymore..
T____T
it pains me....
that you don't care about me anymore.

first~ :">

at that time, we weren't close yet.
& i was sick. they were all over my table,
as i work on a plate *underwater-illusto22*

he borrowed my beloved BENT brush.

after a few more minutes,
i saw my name~

^____________^

*aww~
at that time, it didn't mean as much as it does now.
back then, i was just amazed.
now, i'm just happy.

haha~
i can't believe how much this mushroom guy has grown  in me.
i so can't believe it.

but if you were to ask me why i like him.
well, waste of time.
i wouldn't know what to answer. haha ^^"

it's different.
idk why--but things are starting to change.
& i feel like m'getting better.
but i don't want it to be because of him,
but it seems..........

*blush* :">

it's not like i do blush..

but hey~

if i do.. then i'd probably be a walking tomato now.
*laughs*

you ask why? :]
no, not doodle~ not shroom..

this time it's not just any person;
t'was my crush from startek,
my FST trainer, PAO :">

but seriously, this really made my early morning.
what's not to be happy about.
a crush seeing your importance? :]

the girl in his DP? his long.time girlfriend, aya.
yes* the same nickname as mine.
what coincidence right?

but hey, m'really happy.
a guy like him, noticing & appreciating

makes me want to paint my cheeks red.
hahahaha~ :">

why you make it harder?

so last friday,
was our first real bonding time.
& yes, m'pertaining to shroom. ^^'

well, jag wasn't there to bug us or make him feel uneasy.
& the rest of his friends were either out, or busy with ponce.
while jojie, was goofing around, teasing ar.em
making us free to bond..? 하하 xD

anyhow,i don't want to get into detail
>__________<
hahahahaha~ but i paid him several hugs.....
& maybe a lot more?

he clearly doesn't like me.
& like what i have said before, i don't like like him~
^^'
but you see,

he does things that'll make it even harder for me

to remove mushrooms growing whenever my head is empty.

UGH [////]

*hot ears*

mushrooms

to you who grows in my head whenever it's empty,

i still don't know how you do that.
how you easily grow in number and eat up all my neurons~

i wondered, and decided to make friends with you
& see what is there to learn when m'with you.
why am i being honest to you?
why am i getting jealous when you hang out with them chicks?
why is it that i think of you even if i don't want to? 

seriously,
did you drug me?

i like you--not like like, but i do.
and you know that.

i just don't know if you like me too.
& i don't know if i do want to ask you--
am i afraid of being rejected?
but if i do get rejected, then this will end, right?
then i will be left at peace, right?

but, will it be right?
and there is this 0.1% that maybe, you like me too.
& if you do, what am i supposed to do, eh?

why are mushrooms like that?
why do they just grow wherever they want to?

so many questions,

i want to regret that night i brought you for them to meet..

if i didn't,
would she have known you?
would she have stolen you from me?

would you have fallen for her?

but that was a first time for me.
that was a first time for both of us, i think.

but..

 i can't help but not to regret it wholeheartedly,
because that was one good memory.

http://ayaisash.blogspot.com/2009/10/goodnight-and-hugs.html

that room that we occupied.
that banig you found on top of a shelf.

that one pillow & thick blanket we shared.

the storm & the whir of the aircon that muted everything else outside,

& made that night so cold..

& yet, you were so warm beside me.
it was comforting..it was~ ♥?

*photographs of us*

how i wish we had a decent picture. *laughs weakly*

for my first post this 2o12,

well, i was hoping i could just leave it BLANK.
^^'

nonetheless, i have written this.