yes, it is true.
my sanity needs to be tested.
against all odds, i still can't stop myself from falling for you.
if we look at it a normal perspective—
from a commoner's point of view,
you are wise while i am in no comparison to your intelligence.
you are talented whereas i am just an average.
and i choose not to compare myself with the other girls.
for i don't believe that i have an edge.
i have low self esteem though it's just about the physical,
otherwise, it does not matter to me.
and your decision to go solo—it is solid.
i can feel how serious you are with it,
yet i can neither change what i feel nor you stance.
and i must feel defeated, but i don't.
but there is pain. oh yes, there is.
and it stings whenever you tell me to not feel.
and how hard is it to fall for a person with a completely different belief?
my religion tells me i cannot be with a non.muslim.
and whenever i am reminded of that, it hurts like hell.
oh shoot~ must i be inlove?
i have thought of it, A LOT.
and even when i still liked your friend.
but i told myself, i will not fall. not until i know you're there.
but was i just fooling myself?
i have never thought of men that way—
of living a life with one.
and i wonder, why of all people,
you were the only one i reconsidered.
i can not deny how i feel for you.
although i'm not sure how deep i have already fallen.
but no, i should not know yet—
because it will bring more pain.
because whenever i imagine that i can never be with you,
my heart panics and my body starts to collapse.
i feel that i wouldn't want to be with anybody else.
and i will live my life like how you want to live yours, ALONE.
i must be...
