BLOG #2: Of Lust and Risks

“ Allegory of Temptation ”

by Graciano Nepomuceno

1933 ( wood )

            Of all the traditional artworks I have seen in the Vargas Museum, I could honestly say that it was this small sculpture of Nepomuceno that struck me most. Well, for one, there were only a small number of traditional sculptures exhibited. And two, most of the traditional paintings of the masters were of scenery, of churches, of portraits, or of some patriotic or religious themes which I am not very interested in, most of the time.

            A small wooden sculpture of a nude lady, almost lying down, holding the head of a snake (wrapped on her left leg) with her left hand was quietly sitting on the 2^nd floor. The snake has managed to slither its way up to her knee. Her face was all-calm though, as she held the serpent’s head with her hand.

            The sculpture is very smooth and clean—it looks skillfully carved. The anatomy of the lady, as well as, the details of the snake are very remarkable especially knowing that this is sculpture is quite small. The sculpture showed the astonishing talent of the artisan. Even by solely the level of craftsmanship shown in the sculpture, I was captured.

            From what I have learned in the past, a serpent is usually associated to negative interpretations. It is usually used as a symbol of desire or lust. But despite the negative ideas attached to this creature, I still find myself longing to have a snake pet of my own. *weakly laughs at the thought* Anyway, with one look at the sculpture, there is a very little need for an explanation to its title. The sensual desire of the human is being told. But I think there is more to it than just its story: a lesson.

            Alas. Our society today little do realize the impact of the media in the eyes and minds of the youth; let alone act on the rising issue. I think it is very unfortunate—that a lot of teenagers today end up raising a child of their own at the age when they should still be enjoying their own youth. I think, this sculpture, aims to open the eyes of its audience, to not be in a hurry to experience everything. Timing, Self-control, Priorities, and Patience: lessons that should be inculcated in the minds of teens today; so that they don’t commit immature decisions and wind up bound by the consequences of their irresponsible acts.

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**Disclaimer: This photo was not taken by me.**

“ Immigration Series “

by Santiago Bose

2000 ( acrylic on canvas )

            When I saw this painting by Bose, instantaneously, Gloc9’s song entitled, “Walang Natira” played in the background. The song is specifically about the rising number of OFW’s who missed out on the important days with their children and risk their lives, in exchange for money. It must have been the passport and/or the job titles written—that made this song play in my head, which actually made the experience more interesting.

            As I took my time studying this painting, (Napakaraming guro dito sa amin ngunit bakit tila walang natira? Napakaraming nurse dito sa amin, ngunit bakit tila walang natira? Nag-aabroad sila. Gusto kong...) the song went on. It’s a funny thing that I can relate to this painting. Wait, i take it back. It’s actually not funny, it is rather sad. Because, reality check: most Filipinos would relate to this. We have this idea, that if we migrate in a different country like, USA *coughs*, we will have a better life. Right. *emphasis on the ironic tone*

            The painting, in tones of greens and yellows, is of an open passport of a certain Roberto or Norberto, (not quite sure if I got his name down,) anyway, and a line drawing of an open palm. On the digits, job titles in Spanish were written like Marino, Cirquero, Dryver, and etc. (I find it hard to read the other ones written because of the low quality of the picture, hence, I must apologize.)  Anyway, one line in the middle of the palm, “ALL AROUND” is written. True. The passport representing every Filipino who yearns to be an immigrant. The open palm, symbolizing their willingness to do anything, everything in exchange for that opportunity.

            Money is a big deal for many. That is the sad truth. People are going to do everything in exchange for those greens. I have personally suffered from being left behind by parents as they worked their bums off abroad—and for what? For the electric bills and tuition fees, for the food and water, for...basic necessities. I understand, I am understanding, I understood. And misunderstood. Young as I was then, I thought it was only right. Wrong.

            Not everything outside our country is better than what is in here. And not everything inside our country is worse than what is out there. I just said the same thing, I think. But it does not matter. I just want to emphasize. Why do Filipinos are so eager to fly out? Oh yes, right, I know. Uninspiring officials, less job opportunities, not-so-good environment—but let’s keep in mind: our country is only as good as what we make it. If we choose to escape from it, then we are not doing it any good. And that I think is what this painting tells us. Or, I guess, what it communicated to me. We need not migrate for a better life, we can do it here—not that I’m being nationalistic here.

(...Nag-aabroad sila. Gusto kong yumaman, yumaman, yum-hn-mm! )

...

*muffled voice of Gloc9*

...

The Miss that He still Miss.

I vaguely know her from his words
 When once he told me of her;
Oh, how much she meant for him
 And how they cared for each other's hearts then.

I will never know how much sadness dawned on him,
 And how much tears he shed;
All I know is that he deeply felt for her,
 Even after years from her leaving

For him, she was a star; was or is still?
 Ever-glowing from his vivid memories.
I know, forever she will be loved,
 And I envy that miss whom first caught his heart.

BLOG #1: Of Loyalty and Pretensions

“The Ring”

acrylic on canvas

 2o” x 24”

            Still life—I didn't know what to paint. And it took me quite some time to finally come up with a subject. My ring. During the approval of our studies and references; almost everyone else brought pictures of kitchen wares, fruits, vegetables, and everyday stuff which all seemed meaningless to me. And being true to myself, I could never paint something I don’t feel like doing. I always wanted to have a different take, and tackle on such things with my heart.

            On the day of submission of our entries for the still life exhibit, I came in late. And most of my friends were curious of what I have painted. Their works were all displayed around the room, colorful and realistic, I felt a bit belittled, but I shook it off. I was proud of my work; it was something I created because I wanted to, because it meant a lot for me, and not just for the sake of the subject. As one classmate unwrapped my work, I watched their faces went from surprised to confused. What was she thinking? And that was what most of their facial expressions said. But to some, they were amazed. It was something new, especially coming from me.

            It was a grayscale painting of my ring, sitting on an almost empty table. I used acrylic paint. It was that time of my life when I got to like using this medium.  The painting screamed of Paine’s Grey and White, no more, no less. It was of my choice to not add in any color, it was what I felt like doing. The strokes were huge and rough, like big raindrops, as what my 3 year-old nephew said.         My ring, that very specific ring I wore almost every day, was a sign of loyalty, of a promise of love. But it was not mine to wear originally—it was of my mom’s.  But, things happened, promises were broken, the tie was put to a test, and fortunately, the family survived.  So I wore this ring, this very specific ring, every single day of my life. To remind me to be loyal, to be true to my words, to keep every promise I make and to stand for what I believe in, always. And these are the reasons why I chose to paint it for that Still Life Exhibit last 29^th of February this year.

            During the exhibit day, as I have expected, most of their paintings looked all alike to me. And sadly, most felt empty. Yes, some were rendered beautifully; some were even close to life. But, I felt nothing, it all seemed like they did it only for the sake of the exhibit, of the subject—like it was nothing more than a mere finals requirement. And then, there were them few that touched me, especially one from a special friend. Unbiased, I am, I studied his painting. It was a diptych that seemed like the table from the last supper without the people and Jesus though, and it showed how the human brain works. The logical and the abstract. It was astonishing, how the artist presented the brain’s processing capability. Against the norm, I already placed my bet that his entry was going to place, but I guess my presumption was right. Most of the faculty had the same take on art. So the winners works looked all the same in my eyes.

And I was disappointed,

Not because my entry lost,

But because,

The judges wore the same glasses.

“Survival Tip #6: Play Dead”

acrylic on canvas

2’ x 3’

            To survive, blend in. It was my motto. *emphasis on the WAS* I believed that in order to survive, I had to stay away from the spotlight and never stand out from the crowd. And so I survived, barely. When I entered college, I wanted to keep the same status, a ghost student; unseen and unnoticed. And yet, my personality came through, and in the end, amongst the commoners in the business building of my previous school, I stood out. And it made me happier. *not that I liked the attention, no, of course not* But it made me realize, I should never be afraid of how people would see me, nor fear what they would think of me. What matters is that I stay true to myself, and I will be happy. So when I got to FEU, I let all of myself out.

            I was never fond of painting, nor did I dream of joining a nation-wide competition such as Shell’s National Student’s Art Competition. But, with one push, I was inspired to join this year. It was my first, so I scrambled on what to paint, again. Yet, I have always had this haunting idea of my false belief from the past. And this, is what I came up with.

            A cat-like human, looking and staring at a vibrant goldfish who is pretending to be dead inside a line drawing of a fish bowl on top of a table. At the background are line drawings of other fishes, dead, hanging from a clothes line and two cats. Rough strokes and edges, line drawings of random figures which creates an unfinished feel.

            People are so afraid of being criticized, of being judged, of being looked at differently. So most of us tend to conceal ourselves and blend in with the crowd without respect to our own beliefs. We enclosed ourselves to this fear forbidding us to live life. And why is that? Why do we fear so much of what others think? I have been in that position, and it felt like I’m not living. So I decided to put it in canvas, to inspire people to be themselves.

            This was not my usual style; it was my first to actually create a work of art with this approach. I was not even surprised that my mom and my siblings were disappointed when they saw it. They thought I have made a complete joke of myself painting something like it for a national competition. And yet, to my surprise, for me, it was liberating. That very day, I submitted my work, I was not counting on winning (and yes, I didn’t) but I was happy to have created this piece, My friends, when they saw it, they were dumbfounded. It was something they never thought I would paint. They thought it was too weird, too symbolic, and too random. But I was okay with it, it was their opinion, they have the right for it.       It was the reaction I have anticipated. I mean, coming from people who have seen my previous works, they would really be shocked. And in my imagination, I knew what the others reactions were as well. It was something ugly, something out of taste, something that is not the “winning piece” and yet it didn’t matter.

            I have seen some other entries, and some were the works I have already expected. They were cheesy in a way that they created pieces that were “patriotic” or political, or something that says “it’s more fun in the Philippines”. And I wondered, what the judges were really looking for. I saw a friend’s work, someone I have watched always. It was a huge canvas, with lines of different colors at the bottom, rising was a snail. It was 3D--it was a snail climbing its way up. And I was astonished. I saw what he wanted to show, I heard what he wanted to say. It was showcasing man’s hard work, the perseverance. And it made me admire how this artist translates his ideas to canvas more than ever. And to me, it was a winning piece.

As for my work, what’s important is that I do what I want. And whenever I do something, I give it my all. I always tell myself, “I don’t do things half-hearted.”

Whether i was painting for a competition,

Or out of hobby, or boredom,

I will do what I want, regardless of what others think.

Because I know in the end,

What’s important is being myself.

excuse me for my filipino but i just want to let this out

kung lahat ng mali ko itatama, wala pala talaga akong nagawang tama *insert badword* :|

m'on a high

on our way to mcdopagal (mcdo in macapagal rd)

NO. i don't do drugs.

i just don't know what went in my head but uhh~
i seem pretty fine, happy even? no?

just high, i guess..hah ^^'

because tonight, i really miss you..

i am falling, falling real fast.

there may be a way of stopping,

but i want this to last.

i want you now, and i want you forever.

i wish you'd see things through my eyes,

and you'll see life much clearer.

i'm only 1/4 of my wait

until you decide if you'll change your mind.

i have no means on how, but i need not haste.

i don't mean to like everything around you,

but suddenly, i'm starting to.

not all, of course, i'm true.

i'm beginning to open my eyes

and be more curious of things; i'm starting to change

not just for you, but for a better me.

starting to bloom

the wall flower has decided to start to bloom;
somewhere, he must start, at some place.

the wolfe has decided to scratch every wall plane he sees.
and with that, he marks the places he's been.

www.facebook.com/wholeflour

creepers? or heelys?

i don't know what to get myself.
i know i want both.. UGH~
mi money, i need you now.

above is a picture of one of mi choice of style of creepers.

i have a few more picks.

below, is my beloved hurricane.
UGH, i so want one. even if m'turning 21.

just thinking~

i would never consider converting or changing my religion.
not even for the person i love~

but, i still want to be with him..
so if in time, he learns to open his heart for me,
i hope, he changes his.

am i being selfish too much?

no, i think, if he learns more about true Islam,

he'll change. hah.
and then,

we can be together.

I MUST BE CRAZY~

yes, it is true.

my sanity needs to be tested.

against all odds, i still can't stop myself from falling for you.

if we look at it a normal perspective—

from a commoner's point of view,

you are wise while i am in no comparison to your intelligence.

you are talented whereas i am just an average.

and i choose not to compare myself with the other girls.

for i don't believe that i have an edge.

i have low self esteem though it's just about the physical,

otherwise, it does not matter to me.

and your decision to go solo—it is solid.

i can feel how serious you are with it,

yet i can neither change what i feel nor you stance.

and i must feel defeated, but i don't.

but there is pain. oh yes, there is.

and it stings whenever you tell me to not feel.

and how hard is it to fall for a person with a completely different belief?

my religion tells me i cannot be with a non.muslim.

and whenever i am reminded of that, it hurts like hell.

oh shoot~ must i be inlove?

i have thought of it, A LOT.

and even when i still liked your friend.

but i told myself, i will not fall. not until i know you're there.

but was i just fooling myself?

i have never thought of men that way—

of living a life with one.

and i wonder, why of all people,

you were the only one i reconsidered.

i can not deny how i feel for you.

although i'm not sure how deep i have already fallen.

but no, i should not know yet—

because it will bring more pain.

because whenever i imagine that i can never be with you,

my heart panics and my body starts to collapse.

i feel that i wouldn't want to be with anybody else.

and i will live my life like how you want to live yours, ALONE.

i must be...

tom cat's curiosity

i should have not read your past—it is wrong, or is it not?

i did not want to know more yet; or did i really not want?

i doubt myself now, am i really for sure?

i'm confused. i'm confused? i'm confused?

no, not about my feelings; that i hold true.

but why did i continue reading, i have not a clue.

and now i know of your past; or maybe i know not still.

i am not confused; am i not? am i not?

unexpiring inspiration

normally i have so much things to do
i just don't want to do anything.

but then, today, i know my hands are full,
yet i can't keep myself from doing everything!

like right now, i want to paint,
so i am.

i also have so much in my head that i want to write,
so i'm doing it alongside.

m'so inspired.
probably because of the things he said.

*kyaa~ x">

the weather's all gloomy but m'all fired up to work!

random thoughts*

surely i feel like writing tonight
yet my head is filled with random thoughts

waiting to be sorted out.

i have a tons of school works to do,

and things i have to sift through.

but i can't figure out why

i still find time to..
aah! JE RO ME~

why do i think of him? why now?

well, i should be inspired; and honestly, i am
but every time i think of him, my thoughts fly astray!

floating mind, falling heart; great combination ><

and then, there's the other guy, sean.
to whom i have been brutally mean.
and must i apologize for hurting him unconsciously.

m'sorry mi shroom.. real sorry.

PAINTINGS, aha!
plates and competition that need be done.

i want to do real good, not to be top one..

homeworks motivates me to bum.

i should be working on some,

yet i am more inspired to just lay around.

i must start with something.
so i get to finish some--m'writing this to its end

so i can walk away from doing none.

although, this is not nothing, right?

untitled*

i wonder,
what is there to see;
what is there to feel;
what am i to think once i've felt and seen..

i wonder,
what it would feel;
what would it seem;
will they accept what they see..

i wonder,
why i would not stop wondering;
why i would not keep myself at ease;
why i keep on wondering–about this. about you. about me.

i know,
should i not wonder;
should i not ponder.
and just let things be.

22 isn't too old

so this is a first in my 2o years of existence.

to decide to wait for a special person.

for the first 3guys i fell for that never happened;

never did i feel to be ready to have a boyfriend,

(except for my best friend--doodle)

i loved them. the end.

today..i know, i must admit.

i am falling.

i don't know how fast, i don't know how deep i already am,

but for now, i chose to not care.

je ro me.

allows me to like him--it's not like he can stop me, nor anyone.

we are open.

he is decided. to be single for he wants to focus on his studies and art.

then maybe~ JUST MAYBE, he'll have a change of heart after graduating.

so that's 2 years. that's just 2 years. pfft~

WHAT? 22 isn't too old, is it?

what the heck? i will never grow impatient.

as long as the sight of him makes my heart flutter,

his voice sings to my body

and his touch warms my old soul.

i am happy. i am contented.

it's not much of a time--oh. 22, what's that?

i meant to write

but never expected to be heard.

people change.

it's true. people do.
may i not be human--but was i never incapable of change.
and so i did.

now, i am finally in my third year.

hopefully, will i not have to stop so i can graduate in 2 years.
& yea~ m'still a scholar [still partial though, but good enough]

i have finally let go of my feelings for shroom.
for the better. for both of us.

unfortunately, when classes kicked back in,

& he saw me. he told me.

that he realized how important i was for him.

my worth. & that,
he wants me back.

but, i told him it's never gonna happen.

i can't. we can't.
it's best if we stay friends. no more, no less.

& with this, i'll have to stand strong.
but i've been feeling guilty.
for it feels like a never-ending heartbreak for him.

and as if it wasn't enough,
je.ro.me would push me away.
away from him & back to shroom~

heartbreaking, indeed.
it was already painful that he does not have any interest in me.
[though i find comfort that he doesn't have anything for anyone]

STILL, whenever he mentions shroom.
it hurts. *sigh*

i can't blame him though.
for one, he doesn't know EVEYRTHING that has happened

between shroom & i.
second, he's his friend.

anyhow, i still enjoy being in his class.
the chance to be seeing je.ro.me, and sometimes sitting with him in class.
i find happiness with him, effortlessly.

*SIGH*
i missed writing here.
yet, i have to cut this for now.
currently working on papers--ms word,
not working with me..

sophomore no more

when the semester neared to its end,
i have noticed that shroom distanced from me.
he seldom went to class, & if he did, it'd be short.
he'd be late; then leave early.

i thought t'was all because he's done with his plates.
his requirements all completed.
because that's what he'd tell me~ but then again, i was wrong.

but then, as the last day came,
he decided to go to school a little late. & more~
& it seemed to me like he didn't care whether he sees me or not.
anymore..

i was heartbroken.
WHY? & after days, i re-read a message.
& there he said.

that maybe, if he goes to school,
he'll just get jealous & hurt on what he sees.

i never meant to hurt him.
why would i? i like him.
& he's a close friend, a special one.

days passed.
things has gotten out of hand.
hurtful words came out of his lips.
tearing it's way to my heart.
breaking it to pieces.
*sigh*

& today,
maybe we're a bit okay.
but i know, it can never be like it was before.
it's sad. i just hope that we don't lose the friendship.
i hope to not lose mi shroom~

sophomore no more.
him & i: close friends no more?i can't let that happen.

gewd to be back

will post sooner or later.
internet just came back.
but still, i can't burn all the time sitting infront of this laptop.

but i promise to fill you in on that month that i was away.
okaaaaay? :3

HAH! *long post*

so i used to hate this guy~

whenever i see him, i wanted to:
1. punch him in the face.
2. kick his spleen
3. do numbers 1 and 2 over & over again~

& now,
it's all DIFFERENT.

no, it's not shroom.
but he knows i like this guy.
& this guy knows, too that i like him ~

*SIGH*
it pains me that it pains shroom..
but what can i do?

i still like shroom, but that's the end of it.
i just want us to be close friends.
& honestly, i don't see him & i together more than what we already are.

i feel guilty.
that him & i had to talk about this over & over..
when he told me how different it is now,
i felt guilty.
i didn't mean to lead him on~

*SIGH*
and i do really like this guy.
i remembered back then,

when i wanted to court mr. purple shirt from mapua.
but during my last day, my last chance,
i decided to accompany my doodle instead of taking my chance on him.

& now,
is the second time. yes, i have fallen before.
but never did i felt the urge to court them.
confessed, & got dumped.
but never court them or anything..

but today, with this guy~
i have felt it. i want to court him.
[ i want him ]
& i don't really know why.

so i told this guy that i want to court him~
& he told me he wants to live alone.
>< i asked if he's going to dump me if i court him,
he said he doesn't know..
*does that i mean i still a have chance?*

he said he prioritizes his studies.
so maybe i'll court him after we graduate.
a lot of things can change 2 years from now
. he said his wanting of being alone might get worse.
but it can also change the other way around..
so i'll take my chance >:]



m'sorry shroom.
i really am.. but i will stand true to my promiseto you~
when i asked you if t'was okay if i court him, you said t'was okay.
just as long as things between us don't change~
HAH~

i really really like him. i really do.
he's different in so many ways.
^________^
for now, i'll just be there.

PS:
i don't have a name to call him.
i call him by syllabicating  his name :">
JE        RO       ME   

what has happened to me?

i must admit.
when 2nd semester started, things has changed.
i have changed.

my working patterns, changed.
my productivity level drastically fell.
& my procrastination percentage, flew.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

have i been brainwashed & reprogrammed to laze out?
o_0

but i still feel the same..
i still want to get higher grades.
i so want to keep my scholarship,

BUT. really~
what has gotten into to me lately??

me being out of focus
& lacking the drive to work & work.
what is the reason behind this.

MUST KNOW.
must fight it & be back in the business
>___________<

STRIPED!

i didn't have much time to work on some fancy nail art.

so, i ended up getting STRIPED!
 *still cute, right? ^^♥

who are you?

that night, when you first stole him from me,
was the first time you superbly hurt me.
& then, it never came to an end.

but i had to endure.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

little did i know, that things would go from bad to HELL.

but i had to accept it.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

& then, more shit came.
& i couldn't stop myself from going berserk*
i said words. i did things.
PAIN was excruciating.

but it only lasted for 2 hours.
i had to overcome it.
& decided to be okay with everything else..

 then, i was okay.
because you are my bestfriend.
and because i love you.

but it pains me..

that you always had time for him than for me.
that you could always text him to meet him up,
but never had to ask me "what's up?"
that you'd reply to his invites but never to my texts of desperation..

it was painful because of that.
not because he likes you.


AND NOW.
who are you? where'd you take my bestfriend?
where did she go? what did you do to her?
i don't know you anymore..
T____T
it pains me....
that you don't care about me anymore.

first~ :">

at that time, we weren't close yet.
& i was sick. they were all over my table,
as i work on a plate *underwater-illusto22*

he borrowed my beloved BENT brush.

after a few more minutes,
i saw my name~

^____________^

*aww~
at that time, it didn't mean as much as it does now.
back then, i was just amazed.
now, i'm just happy.

haha~
i can't believe how much this mushroom guy has grown  in me.
i so can't believe it.

but if you were to ask me why i like him.
well, waste of time.
i wouldn't know what to answer. haha ^^"

it's different.
idk why--but things are starting to change.
& i feel like m'getting better.
but i don't want it to be because of him,
but it seems..........

*blush* :">

it's not like i do blush..

but hey~

if i do.. then i'd probably be a walking tomato now.
*laughs*

you ask why? :]
no, not doodle~ not shroom..

this time it's not just any person;
t'was my crush from startek,
my FST trainer, PAO :">

but seriously, this really made my early morning.
what's not to be happy about.
a crush seeing your importance? :]

the girl in his DP? his long.time girlfriend, aya.
yes* the same nickname as mine.
what coincidence right?

but hey, m'really happy.
a guy like him, noticing & appreciating

makes me want to paint my cheeks red.
hahahaha~ :">

why you make it harder?

so last friday,
was our first real bonding time.
& yes, m'pertaining to shroom. ^^'

well, jag wasn't there to bug us or make him feel uneasy.
& the rest of his friends were either out, or busy with ponce.
while jojie, was goofing around, teasing ar.em
making us free to bond..? 하하 xD

anyhow,i don't want to get into detail
>__________<
hahahahaha~ but i paid him several hugs.....
& maybe a lot more?

he clearly doesn't like me.
& like what i have said before, i don't like like him~
^^'
but you see,

he does things that'll make it even harder for me

to remove mushrooms growing whenever my head is empty.

UGH [////]

*hot ears*

mushrooms

to you who grows in my head whenever it's empty,

i still don't know how you do that.
how you easily grow in number and eat up all my neurons~

i wondered, and decided to make friends with you
& see what is there to learn when m'with you.
why am i being honest to you?
why am i getting jealous when you hang out with them chicks?
why is it that i think of you even if i don't want to? 

seriously,
did you drug me?

i like you--not like like, but i do.
and you know that.

i just don't know if you like me too.
& i don't know if i do want to ask you--
am i afraid of being rejected?
but if i do get rejected, then this will end, right?
then i will be left at peace, right?

but, will it be right?
and there is this 0.1% that maybe, you like me too.
& if you do, what am i supposed to do, eh?

why are mushrooms like that?
why do they just grow wherever they want to?

so many questions,

i want to regret that night i brought you for them to meet..

if i didn't,
would she have known you?
would she have stolen you from me?

would you have fallen for her?

but that was a first time for me.
that was a first time for both of us, i think.

but..

 i can't help but not to regret it wholeheartedly,
because that was one good memory.

http://ayaisash.blogspot.com/2009/10/goodnight-and-hugs.html

that room that we occupied.
that banig you found on top of a shelf.

that one pillow & thick blanket we shared.

the storm & the whir of the aircon that muted everything else outside,

& made that night so cold..

& yet, you were so warm beside me.
it was comforting..it was~ ♥?

*photographs of us*

how i wish we had a decent picture. *laughs weakly*