Confrontations and Early Signs of Tendencies

I have memories from my childhood, which sometimes feel surreal. Yet I know in my heart they truly happened. Because whenever I close my eyes, I just don't see the scene, the feeling floods back too.

I remember back in kindergarten, I don't know what happened in most of the days I spent in school except for one extra-ordinary day. (I was like, what, 5?) We were inside the classroom, and our teacher was out for a while. A boy named Raymond, who was popular with the others, came up to me and handed me a drawing. It was a portrait of a lady—a princess, maybe, on a sheet of a grade1 paper. She was facing one side (I think it was left) blowing a kiss, with her eyes closed, both her hands in front of her pouted lips and her blonde hair flowing to the other side. There was a huge heart at the left part, and if I am remembering it correctly, there was a kiss mark.

I was annoyed. He said he drew it for me. He said that was me. And I was all-the-more annoyed because he was brightly smiling with flushed cheeks. I took the drawing from his hand. But what I did next, I can never explain why.

I stood up from my seat, crumpled the drawing, and threw it in the trash bin. Yes, I was brutally cruel—and I can't remember why I did it. (Hah~) Anyway, I remember casually walking back to my seat like nothing happened.

That's not the climax yet. You see, after a short while, another boy came up to me. (And I I remember correctly, it was a Dustin? Or was it Justin?) And he started lashing out. I cried. And to my surprise, I realized he was so mad at me because I threw Raymond's drawing. He said I wasted all the efforts Raymond put into that drawing—what the heck, right? We were in kindergarten, for crying out loud!! We were 5—He was 5?! What's wrong with him. (Who knew gay symptoms could show as early as 5?!)

Anyway, we were both crying when our teacher came back. She asked us what's wrong and I'm pretty sure there was a little anger in her tone. J/Dustin talked. I explained my side, I said, the drawing was already mine, Raymond gave it to me, so whatever I do with it, it's fine. Plus, he has nothing to do with it; he shouldn't be concerned at all. Funny, how I can remember my tone when I said those words. I was reaching my limit at that time, t that age. Hah~

Anyway, Raymond was also sad that day. I must've broken his poor, innocent heart. That's probably why I don't have further memories with him. Because he hated me after that day~

FUNNY, right?

Have I always been incapable to accepting or reacting civil to confessions?

The answer, YES.